Wednesday, 5 October 2016
The Modern Day Feminist vs The Man's World
We move mountains and make sacrifices for the men in our lives that we just long to impress, but along the way we lose the things that we love trying to make them feel more 'man', while we feel less 'woman'. These guys have us weak at our knees working for their attention and approval, while in reality there should be a mutual ground of effort being put into a 'relationship'. A two-way street of respect and energy. If a man is so insecure that he can't handle all of you, then why should you dilute your fabulous self and bring yourself down?
Sophie's recent post inspired by a quote she stumbled upon after a long day of us travelling and working got me thinking, and after sitting in Wagamama's empowering each other from the bad moves we've made with our previous dates, I started thinking about the whole thing a little bit more.
Don't get me wrong, I love men and I'm not one of those women who is going to tell you that all men are rubbish, blah blah blah - although the majority of the men that i've stumbled upon are (and this is absolutely based on those), but there's something about this whole 'man mentality' that is so 1950's that i'm left floating through my love life baffled.
We go through life watching tv and movies and are taught the dynamic of 'boy meets girl', boy and girl like one another', 'boy and girl are together' (note that the boy meets the girl, not the girl meets the boy... ugh), but skip to 2016 as someone who is single and you'll know fully well that the thought of even mentioning your feelings to someone you've been dating for half a year is absolutely absurd and should you dare try you'll be banished into the woods with the other witch spinsters for eternity. You'll likely be branded as clingy and needy and blacklisted from Tinder forevz. Maybe you'll get turned into a meme too. Great news for all you lot who actually don't just want a cheeky fling, right? Being single has become a trend lately and no one wants that (or wants to admit that they want) simple companionship anymore like the generation before us. It's as though being in a relationship has become 'uncool' if that's even possible... Better start planning our cats' names now...
What I don't understand is how as a modern women, i'm still unable to express my thoughts, feelings and confusions in a male world without being completely shunned. We're going from a female dominated boardroom where we speak our minds, share our power and handle business just like a man can, to entering the man's world outside of the boardroom and becoming a shell of the woman we are in a woman's world. We are quite literally taking the jewels from our crowns to make it easier for the man to carry, but if he can't empower himself then who's going to empower us?
I'd call myself a powerful woman because i'm not afraid to ask what I want or say what I think. I refuse to sit back and watch my hopes and dreams float by me because I was too scared to ask how to get there or too worried about what others will think of me if I mention my opinion on something. I live in a world where the women around me and myself tell each other if something is shit or wrong and we help each other progress in our lives and in our careers. We don't cower at the idea of asking for what we want. Most of all, I don't live in a world where women compete with one another - and that includes for men.
'Man mentality 2.0' is that cliche idea that woman are no more than fish in a pond to pick from, who'll scrap one another for the chance to fall at their feet and score points against one another on how many times you can sleepover, who cooked the best lasagne and which one got his mate adding you on Facebook first. Well, wrong - the woman is never going to wait around and play games, including the 'guess if i'm actually into you' game. The woman isn't going to run circles to tick a box, or ponder if you feel the same way. The woman is going to ask you outright what this is because she doesn't have time to play games with boys. That isn't extreme feminism or neediness - it's honesty.
So when Sophie sat and told me how she'd painted her nails red instead of her staple black and how she'd swapped out her chic as hell wide leg culottes and oversized shirt with a cute d-ring detail layered over a roll neck with patent boots for jeans and a t-shirt (scoffs - how dare he even ask), I was reminded of those times that I was ignored for two days for saying how great my meeting about my performance that day was after he'd had a bad day at the office, or how my then-boyfriend refused to take me out on date night (and took me to KFC drive thru instead) because he thought my outfit showed too much leg (yeah he was long gone, never diss the Zara and confine a lady to your bust up Corsa), I realised I among the other ladies in my life were dulling our shine to fit into the man's world, when we live in a woman's.
Never swap your Manolo's for basic bitch dolly shoes because a man feels threatened by your six inch heel, and most definitely never take the jewels from our crowns to make it easier for the man to carry.
I feel like I need to get a flag and stand by a podium with Emma Watson now...
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